6 replies to this topic

[andrew_k]

"Gather round ye people, here's a story you've never heard. 'Bout me and some friends, and some things that occurred"

Dragged a mate's deceased beater '89 240 vulva to the wreckers, and he bought a legit "1 little old lady driver" k11 Micra to do train station runs on the smell of an oily rag. Pretty OK really, got some of that mini "wheels at far corners" fwd handling going on.

Aaaanyway, this car has been sitting for a while and not serviced. 3000km in the past 2.5 years. Being a good mate I offered to give it an oil change and a look over.

I've never touched an east-west engine until yesterday. I slid under the beast and cracked the closest sump plug.

"Yeah shit that doesn't smell right"

Instantly realize I've just dumped the auto trans fluid. And it's got some real dead gearbox fluid mixed in with it for good measure! Quality. So off to the country servo to get thoroughly wallet-pillaged for trans fluid. Sigh.

Round 2 - Enter the Oily Dragon.
Who the hell designed the oil filter placement on this thing?!!! I thought subies were shite. The oil filter is in the centre rear of the motor, only accessible from beneath unless you have gumby arms and enjoy burns (sif work on a cold car, no such luxuries). After years of the same filter, it had bonded with the engine with the kind of force only displayed by hentai tentacle monsters. Of course, the sump plug is beneath the oil filter, as is the drive shaft. So I'm layingmy dirt driveway, reaching around the axle, cop a fat drop off old oil in the eye, and no chance in hell of budging this filter.

Time to get medieval on its ass. Long blade screwdriver, 3lb hammer, and smash the driver into the old filter to get some torque on it. Make sure to go through the far side as well so it doesn't just tear apart. So of course now it's pissing oil, and oil filter is deep enough into the engine bay the I can get less than 10° rotation per punch. 6 rounds of punching new holes later, I am have claimed the scalp I came for.

Get the new filter, reach around the drive shaft to get the filter in and precisely lose my oily grip on the new filter, which then bounces off the drive shaft and completes a 360° rotation before disappearing into near-enough to 10L of archeological-grade mixed oil, trans fluid, and gear fluid. The Russian judge gives it a 6.

Much swear, many wipe, filter in. Thank various imaginary deities. Time to pack this shit up and smash a cold adult beverage. The Micra is lacking the torque required to get off the ramps, so I give it a little more throttle. I don't drive FWD ever, I didn't even think about what might result from my actions.

Sure enough, car reverses off and I hear a solid metal on metal sound in front and look up to see a wave of airborne black fluid. The open diff had sent all power to the right wheel, which had in turn shot the ramp forward into the 10L bucket of ancient car juice, which had thoroughly ejaculated over anything near it.

Good Times

[andrew_k]

#picsorban
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[Adictions]

Haha, and people say Subarus are hard to service. Know the feeling of stupidly tight filters. Snapped my filter strap the other day on one

[motoboy76]

That sounds like a cursed Mica right there......

 

Hope you are having a a few cold beverages right now.....

[Adam]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


Made my day

[Morgan]

Lels.

A+ would read again.

[Hypnotic]

Hahahaha such a good read